Thursday, December 31, 2009

Looking back 2009...

Looking back, 2009 has been a roller coaster ride for me. There were indeed a lot of ups and downs for me in the year 2009 - the emotionally unstable period in early 2009 due to the passing of my grandmother and a break up, the eventual success I had in finding part time jobs and also my studies to the depressing realization that my FYP is not gonna be finished on time and to find my new love :D during the second sem when I thought that all hope was lost :P

And today is New Year's Eve. To think that so much has happened in just a year, it is really hard to put my thoughts into perspective. Anyway, even today has a twist of its own as if to show me that my life in 2009 is to be full of dramas. If you noticed the pinkish patch on Sonia's cheek, it is just a symptom of her not drinking enough water and not a case of Rihanna and Chris Brown. With her parents coming over, it is really suspicious that she insists on putting on sunglasses to cover it up. The more she insists on doing it, the more it looks like a cover up of abusive boyfriend beats the crap outta girlfriend and girlfriend hiding it from parents -.-"

Well not sure how 2010 will turn out as it'll be a year I'll be finding my first job and a lot more uncertainties await me but I hope I'll manage to sail over it as smoothly as I had handled 2009 :D A better year awaits!!! Happy 2010 everyone!!!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Feel so lazy to blog these days. I will just share another song which reflects how I feel at the moment. Enjoy :)

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

A song dedication

And this song is for you...

Friday, September 11, 2009

Reality?? Illusions???

A beautiful lady? A hidden skull?? Which is the reality and what is the true picture??

Currently my life just feels this way. So hard to distinguish between reality and illusions. A lot of people who do not know tend to assume what they see is what they get. On the contrary, what they see may just be illusions. That is what I really hate about perception. It can easily be fooled. The brain loves to ignore what it does not want to know...

Bliss? It is such an abstract feeling no one can really describe what it really is. Strangely, it is strongly pursued along with love. :/ Who knows if the things we get are actually just mere illusions? Illusions - it is hard to tell it apart from reality when you are looking from the outside, it is even harder to discern when you are in the illusion...

Happiness? I think it is the feeling which I can be the least associated with at the moment... illusions... I just hope I can see through them...

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Nick and Eve goes to McD

I'm not sure how many people have watched Harold and Kumar goes to Whitecastle but this is a case of Nick and Eve goes to McD. In an earlier post, because of a thoughtless comment I made, I owe Eve a big Mac. *Time flies by... Not too sure how long after the promise was made* The time has arrived and Eve come to claim her burger... (Actually she just bo sim study so kena jio ke McD) So thinking it'll just be a fast supper around 10, I went... And b4 I knew it, I'd suddenly become a law tutor???

from 10p.m. to 3a.m. -.-" Even have to shift from 3rd Mile McD to d McD in town...

The pile of notes... I even feel like a semi pro at law after reading it all...
The girl who can't study at home showing full concentration in her revision at McD :D

Then again, it's most probably McD was so empty and silent that it makes such a nice place to do revision...

The look of hopelessness with so many things to study but not so much time...

The realisation came that it's not time to be studying and not posing for d cam...
The sleepy look or the look of relief when study night at McD came to an end?? Or most probably just a look of "WTF am i doing here???(-.-!! )" Must be a dream... must be dreaming... Wait a minute, why are there pics when it's just a weird dream??? (o.O )

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Just another random rant...

原来我自欺欺人罢了。。。:/ 听听歌吧。。。

Friday, July 31, 2009


It is such an irony that another one of those "spiritual" politicians has just passed away. Somehow the way things are happening, it seems like the good guys are dying one after another. On the other hand, the so called corrupted and vile bunch of guys are still alive and kicking and basically kicking our asses... At times, I do wonder if this is life's tragic irony - for us to be forsaken from the Garden of Eden into this land we call home. If so, maybe that is why the good guys get called back to Paradise but we are here...

Thursday, July 30, 2009


My holidays are finally coming to an end... Sigh... Soon enough I'll be starting my final sem... Come to think of it... It's so scary how fast time flies by :( Once upon a time, I was just a noobie at uni :D And now I'm about to worry about my final year project and a job :(

Come to think of it, I really haven't done much these hols :( Sad to say, the idea of getting a one month practical din materialize. On a happy note, I've been playing my psp and got really good at Final Fantasy Dissidia. Apart from that, I even manage to (almost... Anytime now) to complete my Final Fantasy Tactics- War of the Lions :D

Haha... That's just it... Some stupid ramblings from a nerd :D Come to think of it, I've also been a tuition tutor for quite a few months now :D Gambate Sensei !!!

Friday, June 26, 2009

What is and what could have been...

26th June... What is and what could have been...

Saturday, June 13, 2009


Stop patronizing me! I'm no longer a fxcking little kid. I'm so angry the rage within me is eating me alive... No wonder I can't wait to get away from you all !!! ARGH!!!!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009




原来用工作麻醉自己依然骗不了自己。。。 自己不是机器。我有心跳,有感觉。。。


Sunday, June 7, 2009

Win an iPhone survey

Haha... Even Swinburne has jumped onto the iPhone bandwagon. It is now offering an iPhone as a prize for students to do surveys. :D Wonder who's be lucky enough to win it. Sounds like a scam though. I personally kinda doubt they'd give a real iPhone. A Malaysian or China imitation product maybe??? LOL...

Blood Donation...

Been so busy for the past month I didn't even have the time to post pics of me during a blood donation campaign. But here it is. Found out I'm an O+ type and my blood can be used to save a lot of lives.

The needle sticking in part was kinda painful. For most people, it was covered up but i took off d cover and took a pic of d needle sticking into my vein. :D C d metal tip going into d flesh?

Halfway through d donation... you can see my packet of blood dangling...

The full packet after the donation... Yummy...

Tuesday, June 2, 2009


Just manage to get my hands on a bunch of Godzilla movies. The sheer beauty of this monster :D The power that it has... The king of monsters... It's simply - AWESOME...

Saturday, May 30, 2009


Yippee a hundredth post since I started my blog!!! Guess what ? The 100th post is about my new found pessimism :D I guess there are too many people who view the glass as half full these days so a little dose of pessimism is gonna do everyone good.

So why be a pessimist. Simply put : Being a pessimist gets me proven right or I get a pleasant surprise :D
Think of it this way. For those who actually view the glass as half full tend to get disappointed when they realised they are only half full when they drink the glass of milk :) At least when pessimists drink it, they are half hungry.

Even in most points in life, people tend to get more disappointed when they are hoping. The worse thing is, Life is so ironic in how it always give us the opposite of what we hope for. The bankers were hoping for a better economy and see how 2008 turned out to be? People are hoping to find the "special one" but do they realise that the odds of finding one person among the billions that live on Earth is like finding a needle in a haystack? wait a minute, finding d needle is easier actually. Even d odds of winning d jackpot is so much higher. It is one to a million. D former, one to a few billions.

And so, whenever you are feeling hopeful, do remember to have that hint of a doubt and pessimism :D The higher your hopes are, the bigger your disappointments will be.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day! Maybe I never know how to show my appreciation, maybe I have hurt you but you have always been there for me. :) I know it's unlikely you will stumble across this post but just so you know, I love you mum. :D

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy Easter!!!

Happy Easter. I have no idea how the Easter Bunny tradition came into play. Anyway... Who wouldn't want a visit from an Easter Bunny like the one in d pic :D Easter Chocolates :P

Friday, April 10, 2009


An excellent comedy :D Say YES!!! at each opportunity that presents itself to you. It might just take you to a whole new level of life changing experience :D

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Happy Birthday...

Happy Birthday to you. It is alright to celebrate your birthday alone. You have been doing it all these days :D It is not something new. It is just that old friend of yours called loneliness. You were asked how you would wanna celebrate but you couldn't even think of a reason for celebration. It is alright. No reason is needed to celebrate. Since you remember it, might as well celebrate it :D What is your wish? Will it be granted? I think so as long as you don't get greedy :D

So happy birthday to you, Nick. Your split personality is here wishing you happy birthday. You still have me :D
Cheer up !!!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Kindness tag

After reading Reader's Digest's article the other day about kindness, I was really touched. An idea sparked and I decided to create this kindness tag. :) If most of you can actually spare some time to do tags, why not spare a thought for others? They might not be less fortunate than you to receive your kindness.

Kindness can be shown in many ways. You need not go all out of your daily routine to do it like giving pity sex to some people you think will never get it. All that is required would just be trivial things like holding the door open for d person behind you, spare the beggar some change when you pass by one, or even helping out your mum with the housework (charity starts at home).

So if you are tagged, just do a kind deed when opportunity presents itself to you. Within the week you are tagged, try to be nice and at the end of the week, just post it in your blog and pass this tag on :) You don't even need to post the deeds that you have done. You merely post a status on whether you have shown kindness.

Kindness for the week: Shown :)

You!!! Yes. If you are reading this, you are tagged :D

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

April Fools...

Once again, it is the time of the year when people are being cautious in case they are played a fool. Sad to say, it seems like people are played for a fool more often than they know. All year round, events happen and in the end, it we are played for a fool again...

Life is indeed one big joke... So many times when the wishes granted are not as expected. In the end, hope is just lost. What is the point of looking forward when what is expected will never happen as expected? Too cruel a joke it is... And so... Everyday is just an April Fool's Day...

Maybe the fool will learn to be wiser after the pain that made him lose his smile... Maybe...

Tuesday, March 17, 2009


Finally found the answer I have been searching for... It is not an easy pill to swallow but I am sure it is the end of my torment... :)

Thursday, March 12, 2009


Two months... That is how long it has been... People always say memories will fade with time and maybe two months is too short a period but the recurring memories just keep coming back to haunt me... The once beautiful memories of yesterday are now the haunting nightmares of today...

It's such a torture... Awake and my mind keeps wandering off to where you are... When I sleep, you appear in my dreams... I guess what's an impossibility in reality is what is reflected in my dreams...

On the night before yesterday, I just vaguely remember i dream of you... I dunno y I can't recall what the dream was about no matter how hard I try. The only thing I recalled waking up in the morning was the pain in my heart... These days it is no longer a figure of speech but rather a physical pain that I can feel...

Today, you appeared again in my nap. It's funny as your hair was short... Somehow you were teasing me in my dream... Just like how it was in the memories I recall... It was all very lucid and real... The heavy feeling of sadness sunk my heart when I woke up all alone and realized that you're gone... :(

I had always been a loner before I met you. Alone but never felt lonely...
These days as I slowly pick up the pieces of my life again, somehow some things just don't feel right anymore... Just need to get these off my chest... People say move on and I wonder if I am moving on by living my life... Maybe I am living just to find a purpose at the moment...

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Monday, March 9, 2009

Take a pick

Below is an article I came across and I will just do an English translation for the main points.

Why do good guys always lose out the bad boys when it comes to girls?


Characteristics of a bad boy: Shameless, brave, good at lying, not bounded by moral values, highly flirtatious, anything can come after having a taste of d cheery :P



Good guys have limited targets. Before they even think about tackling a girl, a lot of things come to mind. Does d girl meet his requirements, is she mature, does she have a boyfriend, what are the future prospects...

Bad boys don't care too much. All that matters? Whether or not the girl is hot. The rest can wait...


Good guys are just too bloody honest. If they have no money, they'll just say so and if the girls ask for opinions, they are pretty straightforward with it. Obviously, this will be quite upsetting for most girls. As for the bad boys, it does not take so much of an effort to make up an impressing story. Nevermind if it is real. As long as the words capture the girl's heart, anything goes.

In this ever changing society that we are living in, the efforts put in by the good guys can never match the breath taking stories made up in 3 minutes by the bad boys.


Good guys tend to respect. Bad guys will know how to get to a girl's heart through alcohol, dance and he will definitely get into her pants in the first given opportunity. :) Once the girls are aroused, loving such a guy won't be such a hard thing to do.

One love making session with a bad boy is so much more than the efforts put in by the good guys time and again. Stupid girls think that guys who had sex with them will love them and more stupid ones think that they have to love the guys who had sex with them.


Good guys tend to take things too seriously and tend to argue over small matters. For bad boys? It's just a game, what's the big deal about apologizing? As such, they are seen as the more compromising and understanding individuals.


Bad boys will definitely have more experiences in dating than the good guys. As long as he tries to tackle, it is already an experience. With experience, the bad boys will have a better understanding of girls.

Bad boys know how to package themselves to look ideal. Good guys do not even know that it is the small mistakes they have made that cost them the relationship.


When there is an argument, the good guys don't usually compromise on their principles. And most of the time, this is the cause of a break up.

As for the bad boys, they do not mind apologizing since lying is so much easier. As such, it is easier to win back the girl's heart. If he gets tired of his play things, anything can be an excuse for a break up.


Good guys tend to have principles and be very routine. As a result, they are seen as boring and totally unattractive. Bad boys? Well since it is all a game, variations are needed and the main aim is to keep it exciting. What more should i say?


When the girls find that both are no longer suitable for each other, they will ask for a break up. the good guys tend to take the moral high road and the effectiveness of this choice is limited. As for the bad boys, anything goes - constant harassment, temptation and some may even resort to threats. Girls are highly emotional and sometimes, it is just these tactics that work.

So what is your choice? :)

Monday, March 2, 2009

First Day of the Final Year

Alas, today is the first day of my final year in uni. I was looking forward to a day when o went smooth but things will never happen the way we want them to be :(

So I am lucky enough to have a class that only starts at 2.30p.m. Slept till 11.49am and woke up to a not so good morning. Not long after, did a routine mail check and what not but my friends were ady on their way to pick me up. I thought that putting on contact lenses would be a breeze on the third day but who knew it took so much longer than I had expected? In the end I was left with no choice but to only put on one. Actually that was kinda a stupid choice. I was so dizzy with a clear vision on one side and extremely poor one on the other. Did not even bring anything... Slipped on my slippers and I was outta d house...

In uni... Sigh.. Why bother to call the subjects elective subjects when we do not have any other available options? It is so FUCKING ridiculous. :( I do not even wanna go into the details of this stupid ordeal...

First day... Well, hope things will pick up...

Friday, February 27, 2009


Been listening to this song the whole afternoon. Found it to be quite a listening pleasure and the lyrics are quite meaningful. Hope whoever is reading my blog will enjoy my selection of songs :)


Just realised I have not updated my blog for quite some time again. Yesterday was a milestone in my life of sorts. After much procrastinating, finally got the reports of my Industrial Based Training done. E-mailed it to my supervisors but haven't got a reply from them yet. I wonder if there are lotsa stuff wrong with what I did. :P

Anyway. Also managed to come to a closure upon other matters. Somewhat of a relief to myself. Well as they say, an end of a chapter is the beginning of another. I dare say yesterday was the ending to that chapter entitled "A break up and a funeral" of my life. Soon, a new semester is starting and hopefully with it a fresh beginning. Although I dare say it's a final year with lotsa work and I do not really look forward to it, maybe it will have a few pleasant surprises along the way.

All I can do is walk down this path called life...

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


Last Thurs was the death of my grandmother. I cant exactly put into words how I felt then but it was a tragic loss for me. To have a series of unfortunate events happening in such a short period of time really made me think...

Maybe it is all because of a thing called fate... It just takes you where it wants you to be... You can try to fight it but that proves to be futile most of the time.... Seems like the best thing to do is just go with the flow... To accept that fate has brought about a situation - desirable or otherwise, and the only thing we can do is to make the best out of the situation...

Friday, January 30, 2009


It is just another one of those days... Loneliness and pain are so intensely felt... :(
I really miss her now... At this moment how I wish I can call her and tell her "I love you and I really miss you."

Then again, I know that is not possible...
It is still very painful to know that I'm still here missing her dearly and for her, I was just someone who crossed path with her at a moment in time... :(

I just wanna scream it out " I LOVE YOU!!! Given the chance to hold your hand again, I'm never going to let you go..."

In the end, it's just me here... Alone and missing her...

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Heavy rain...

Lately, it's been raining heavily each morning... Waking up to such gloomy days really reminds me of her and how much of a void is left in my heart without her... I do not know what she thinks but i guess this song might be it...

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Happy Niu Year

Happy Niu (Ox) Year everyone. Hope this new year brings moo joy and happiness :)

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Slowly but surely...

I guess those of you who bother to read my blog do know from the lyrics i've published in the previous posts have indicated that I just broke up recently... My apologies if any of you do not read Chinese and do not know what they mean... I'd still recommend the songs. Just copy and paste the titles in Google and search :P Basically, the songs are just love ballads and I feel that those songs do represent my feelings well...

For the first one... "Yi ge ren sheng huo" basically means living alone... I guess without her, I've to be on my own again. Although I've been alone most of the time, I will still need to get used to being alone again... Being alone ain't lonely... Missing someone when you're alone is lonely... For this song, I love the lyrics. Some of my fav parts of the lyrics "...the shadows on the wall seem to remind me of you and how lonely I am..." and "... in these cold nights, only my tears keep me warm..." If you're feeling emo and you wanna put your feelings into words, feel free to copy and paste those lines :)

And for the music with the video - "Love is too painful". Well as the title suggests, it's basically about how after the break up, the singer still can't forget his lover and love is just a torment in a situation like this. I love this song. Even the clips kinda remind me of the time we had together. Like what a friend of mine said, when you just broke up, it seems like all the sad songs are written for you :) Classic line from this song - " is so painful that it is killing me yet I just can't forget you..." Once again, it ain't my song but feel free to use the lyrics :P

It really has been a while... The wounds are healing but I know it will leave a deep scar. Lately it really has been an emotional roller coaster for me. Love, despair, pain, hope, disappointment, anger and finally sorrow... I guess after sorrow I am slowly recovering... I know there is no point languishing in the past but I do cherish the sweet memories. Though it was short, it was beautiful...

No need to complicate it all :) Love - short and sweet...

Friday, January 23, 2009

Love hurts...

吴克群 - 爱太痛
(Kenji Wu - Ai Tai Tong) Lyric

吃不能吃 睡不能睡
Chi bu neng chi shui bu neng chi
没有了你 全都不对
Mei you le ni quan dou bu dui
我都学不会 把爱敷衍
Wo dou xue bu hui ba ai fu yan
Yong xiao rong lai ba yan lei chui mian
笑不能笑 哭不敢哭
Xiao bu neng xiao khu bu gan khu
人不像人 鬼不像鬼
Ren bu xiang ren gui bu xiang gui

朋友都说这 不过失恋
Peng you dou shuo zhe bu guo shi lian
Dan wo que lian hu xi dou dan qie
能不能不爱了 因为爱太痛了
Neng bu neng bu ai le yin wei ai tai tong le
我痛得快死了 却无法把你忘了
Wo tong de kuai shi le qu wu fa ba ni wang le
能不能不爱了 爱情它太痛了
Neng bu neng bu ai le ai qing ta tai tong le
我痛得快死了 却无法把爱割舍
Wo tong de kuai shi le que bu fa ba ai ge shi
Wo bu neng shui
我不能够 不能够不爱了
Wo bu neng gou bu neng gou bu ai le

Tuesday, January 13, 2009



Thursday, January 8, 2009

Last few days...

The signs are obvious... I guess there ain't much left to be said... I know that these few days will be the last few days I'll be spending with you... I know now that no matter how hard I try no matter what I do, your heart still remain cold... I know these are the last few days before you say out those words... I don't know how I'll take it but I just know my heart is gonna break...

Don't worry... I know what is going to happen and what you're going to say... I'll be brave... In these last few days before it happens I'll try my best to smile as I do not want to
cause a fuss... Thanks for the memories and sorry for not being able to be a lover that you wish for...

This I promise you... I'll cherish this last few days with you...

Monday, January 5, 2009

Happy New Year ?

Happy New Year to all my friends...

Like the lamb that is holding onto a thin piece of thread, I'm holding on tightly. I'm so scared that if I loosen my grip, I'd lose you. But it seems no matter how hard I try to hold on, the thread is still thin and it just might break. These days, I don't know what has changed but it seems like things are no longer the same. You constantly deny that you have a change of heart but your actions seem to show otherwise.

Maybe this is what I deserve. Then again, maybe this is just another sick joke that fate has for me. I do not know. It is such irony that just not long ago that I sleep with a smile on my face and wake up to a beautiful day with you by my side. Now, it is such a twist of fate that I go to sleep with my heart aching and wake up feeling like there is a knife stabbed in my heart. It really pains me as things are now. I wish I can be stronger and just ignore all these signs.Just a
week ago I thought my life was perfect. Every night you were there to accompany me till I fall asleep. Every morning, you were there to warm my day with your smile. These days, even replying my sms or answering my call in the morning seems like a Herculean task to you. I await your sms telling Good morning and that you miss me but it seems like I'm waiting for an impossibility. Yet... You still tell me that nothing has changed...

You ask me not to think too much. You tell me that things are going to be alright. You tell me to cheer up. Honestly, how can I force out a smile when it really pains me deeply to know that things are not the same again. I do not want your denial. All I want is some reassurance. Maybe I am too sensitive to be a guy but nonetheless I do feel insecure too.I really wonder if you can still stare me in the eyes and tell me you love me. All I need is just for you to hold my hands again to reassure me of your touch. A hug - to show me that you still care. A kiss - to show me that you still love...