Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Sometimes the truth is indeed a bitter pill to swallow. My friends would call me a bastard but I knew they were just joking. Yet when it is hinted that I am one by a person whom I care about, I guess I really am a selfish bastard. My ex once told me that she couldn't be by my side anymore as I treated her as an object which I'd care when I'm in the mood. That was the first time I hated myself for my selfish attitude. The second time came when I was told by the person I merely treated her like a toy.
It hurts really bad cause it's true. As much as I want to deny it, it was no excuse for my selfish actions and my indecisiveness. I may not want to treat her like a toy but my selfish actions speak otherwise. Who knew meeting the right person at the wrong time can be just as painful. To want to claim the moral high ground and yet wanting to maintain a platonic relationship with her - what a conceited and selfish bastard I am. There is no turning back time and there is no cure for the wounds of the heart. I would wish to say sorry to her in person but it won't matter anymore as apologies from a person she no longer cares about won't make any difference...
What am I? I am S.E.L.F.I.S.H