Happy New Year ?

Happy New Year to all my friends...

Like the lamb that is holding onto a thin piece of thread, I'm holding on tightly. I'm so scared that if I loosen my grip, I'd lose you. But it seems no matter how hard I try to hold on, the thread is still thin and it just might break. These days, I don't know what has changed but it seems like things are no longer the same. You constantly deny that you have a change of heart but your actions seem to show otherwise.

Maybe this is what I deserve. Then again, maybe this is just another sick joke that fate has for me. I do not know. It is such irony that just not long ago that I sleep with a smile on my face and wake up to a beautiful day with you by my side. Now, it is such a twist of fate that I go to sleep with my heart aching and wake up feeling like there is a knife stabbed in my heart. It really pains me as things are now. I wish I can be stronger and just ignore all these signs.Just a
week ago I thought my life was perfect. Every night you were there to accompany me till I fall asleep. Every morning, you were there to warm my day with your smile. These days, even replying my sms or answering my call in the morning seems like a Herculean task to you. I await your sms telling Good morning and that you miss me but it seems like I'm waiting for an impossibility. Yet... You still tell me that nothing has changed...

You ask me not to think too much. You tell me that things are going to be alright. You tell me to cheer up. Honestly, how can I force out a smile when it really pains me deeply to know that things are not the same again. I do not want your denial. All I want is some reassurance. Maybe I am too sensitive to be a guy but nonetheless I do feel insecure too.I really wonder if you can still stare me in the eyes and tell me you love me. All I need is just for you to hold my hands again to reassure me of your touch. A hug - to show me that you still care. A kiss - to show me that you still love...