Lonely...

It is just another one of those days... Loneliness and pain are so intensely felt... :(
I really miss her now... At this moment how I wish I can call her and tell her "I love you and I really miss you."

Then again, I know that is not possible...
It is still very painful to know that I'm still here missing her dearly and for her, I was just someone who crossed path with her at a moment in time... :(

I just wanna scream it out " I LOVE YOU!!! Given the chance to hold your hand again, I'm never going to let you go..."

In the end, it's just me here... Alone and missing her...

Heavy rain...

Lately, it's been raining heavily each morning... Waking up to such gloomy days really reminds me of her and how much of a void is left in my heart without her... I do not know what she thinks but i guess this song might be it...

Happy Niu Year

Happy Niu (Ox) Year everyone. Hope this new year brings moo joy and happiness :)

Slowly but surely...

I guess those of you who bother to read my blog do know from the lyrics i've published in the previous posts have indicated that I just broke up recently... My apologies if any of you do not read Chinese and do not know what they mean... I'd still recommend the songs. Just copy and paste the titles in Google and search :P Basically, the songs are just love ballads and I feel that those songs do represent my feelings well...

For the first one... "Yi ge ren sheng huo" basically means living alone... I guess without her, I've to be on my own again. Although I've been alone most of the time, I will still need to get used to being alone again... Being alone ain't lonely... Missing someone when you're alone is lonely... For this song, I love the lyrics. Some of my fav parts of the lyrics "...the shadows on the wall seem to remind me of you and how lonely I am..." and "... in these cold nights, only my tears keep me warm..." If you're feeling emo and you wanna put your feelings into words, feel free to copy and paste those lines :)

And for the music with the video - "Love is too painful". Well as the title suggests, it's basically about how after the break up, the singer still can't forget his lover and love is just a torment in a situation like this. I love this song. Even the clips kinda remind me of the time we had together. Like what a friend of mine said, when you just broke up, it seems like all the sad songs are written for you :) Classic line from this song - "...love is so painful that it is killing me yet I just can't forget you..." Once again, it ain't my song but feel free to use the lyrics :P

It really has been a while... The wounds are healing but I know it will leave a deep scar. Lately it really has been an emotional roller coaster for me. Love, despair, pain, hope, disappointment, anger and finally sorrow... I guess after sorrow I am slowly recovering... I know there is no point languishing in the past but I do cherish the sweet memories. Though it was short, it was beautiful...

No need to complicate it all :) Love - short and sweet...

Love hurts...

吴克群 - 爱太痛
(Kenji Wu - Ai Tai Tong) Lyric

吃不能吃 睡不能睡
Chi bu neng chi shui bu neng chi
没有了你 全都不对
Mei you le ni quan dou bu dui
我都学不会 把爱敷衍
Wo dou xue bu hui ba ai fu yan
用笑容来把眼泪催眠
Yong xiao rong lai ba yan lei chui mian
笑不能笑 哭不敢哭
Xiao bu neng xiao khu bu gan khu
人不像人 鬼不像鬼
Ren bu xiang ren gui bu xiang gui

朋友都说这 不过失恋
Peng you dou shuo zhe bu guo shi lian
但我却连呼吸都胆怯
Dan wo que lian hu xi dou dan qie
能不能不爱了 因为爱太痛了
Neng bu neng bu ai le yin wei ai tai tong le
我痛得快死了 却无法把你忘了
Wo tong de kuai shi le qu wu fa ba ni wang le
能不能不爱了 爱情它太痛了
Neng bu neng bu ai le ai qing ta tai tong le
我痛得快死了 却无法把爱割舍
Wo tong de kuai shi le que bu fa ba ai ge shi
我不能睡
Wo bu neng shui
我不能够 不能够不爱了
Wo bu neng gou bu neng gou bu ai le

一个人生活

叶子在窗外轻轻摇动
人行道没有行人走过
镜子里的我很不像我
自从你离开了我变得很软弱
你的影子在每一个角落
好像是在提醒着我
少了你的陪伴我现在有多寂寞
我想我可以习惯一个人生活
我想我可以假装不曾爱过
冰凉的夜里让眼泪温热我
我想我可以习惯一个人生活
在记忆里面擦去你的承诺
爱你怎么会是这个结果
叶子在窗外轻轻摇动
人行道没有行人走过
镜子里的我很不像我
自从你离开了我变得很软弱
你的影子在每一个角落
好像是在提醒着我
少了你的陪伴我现在有多寂寞
我想我可以习惯一个人生活
我想我可以假装不曾爱过
感觉如果要走谁能说no
我想我可以习惯一个人生活
在记忆里面擦去你的承诺
爱情是个梦而我睡过头
我想我可以习惯一个人生活
记忆里擦去你的承诺
爱情是个梦而我睡过头

Last few days...

The signs are obvious... I guess there ain't much left to be said... I know that these few days will be the last few days I'll be spending with you... I know now that no matter how hard I try no matter what I do, your heart still remain cold... I know these are the last few days before you say out those words... I don't know how I'll take it but I just know my heart is gonna break...

Don't worry... I know what is going to happen and what you're going to say... I'll be brave... In these last few days before it happens I'll try my best to smile as I do not want to cause a fuss... Thanks for the memories and sorry for not being able to be a lover that you wish for...

This I promise you... I'll cherish this last few days with you...

Happy New Year ?

Happy New Year to all my friends...

Like the lamb that is holding onto a thin piece of thread, I'm holding on tightly. I'm so scared that if I loosen my grip, I'd lose you. But it seems no matter how hard I try to hold on, the thread is still thin and it just might break. These days, I don't know what has changed but it seems like things are no longer the same. You constantly deny that you have a change of heart but your actions seem to show otherwise.

Maybe this is what I deserve. Then again, maybe this is just another sick joke that fate has for me. I do not know. It is such irony that just not long ago that I sleep with a smile on my face and wake up to a beautiful day with you by my side. Now, it is such a twist of fate that I go to sleep with my heart aching and wake up feeling like there is a knife stabbed in my heart. It really pains me as things are now. I wish I can be stronger and just ignore all these signs.Just a
week ago I thought my life was perfect. Every night you were there to accompany me till I fall asleep. Every morning, you were there to warm my day with your smile. These days, even replying my sms or answering my call in the morning seems like a Herculean task to you. I await your sms telling Good morning and that you miss me but it seems like I'm waiting for an impossibility. Yet... You still tell me that nothing has changed...

You ask me not to think too much. You tell me that things are going to be alright. You tell me to cheer up. Honestly, how can I force out a smile when it really pains me deeply to know that things are not the same again. I do not want your denial. All I want is some reassurance. Maybe I am too sensitive to be a guy but nonetheless I do feel insecure too.I really wonder if you can still stare me in the eyes and tell me you love me. All I need is just for you to hold my hands again to reassure me of your touch. A hug - to show me that you still care. A kiss - to show me that you still love...