If Life is a movie

An original production by Nick. Infringement of copyright will result in a voodoo curse, thai bomoh's black magic, or a Malay bomoh's jampi whichever u believe in.

If life is a movie, a perfect romance thriller would...

be longer running than Taiwanese drama.
have a much more complex plot and drama of a Spanish soap opera.

induce more tears than a Korean romance flick.
have more actions than a Chinese kung fu kick.

be much more erotic than a Japanese AV.
have more nonsense than you see on a Malaysian TV.

have more glamour than Hollywood.
have more dancing and singing than a Bollywood!

Should i press d panic button now???

Yupe this button looks very tempting to press. Yes once again i'd like to say it's d temptation which is too strong and it ain't coz my willpower is too weak. Exams are here once again. The perfect time for those who wanna panic to jump off buildings while yr friends are havin their exams so they'll pay attention to yr bloody corpse and fail their exams.

Maybe I have ady pressed the button but i have yet realised it. Finals start on Tuesday and i am here adding another worthless article to a blog where nobody reads. Think my psychiatrist might be right bout me being crazy.

Subjects to be tested on in d finals:
Human factors - well as long as i remember d key terms i can talk my way outta it right?
Sensors and actuators - no prob as long as i follow d rule "Monkey see Monkey do" as shown by Manas yg Ganas... I think..
Machine dynamics - Get d tips right and do the tutes. Not too hard i hope :P
Circuits and electronics analysis - Think i've done my fair share of practice so shouldn't be quite a problem.

Well wish me luck. If i manage to pass with flying colours and get some extra cash, I'll treat ya to a meal :)

Beautiful coincidence...

Most of the time i would accompany my post with a pic but not this time. Bro is gonna sit for his SPM (not PMS) so he decided to go for a hair cut and pray at the temple. Initially, i din wanna follow. Just when they stepped out d door, d tv flickered and turned off. Well i took dat as some kinda sign and decided to follow my bro.

At the hair salon, I saw a hairdresser. Boy... Is she gorgeous... Big watery eyes, oval shaped face.. Haha wish i've taken her pic and need not spend so much time describing. Well she looks familiar but i din dare to talk to her as she was cutting d hair of a little boy at dat moment. So i spent some time talking to my bro though i think my eyes were looking at her and my attention was focused at her while my bro babbled away.

After she finished trimming d boy's hair, she went to have sth to eat and sat there watching her her colleague cut my bro's hair. Chance came alas, but this is my life and things never run dat smoothly. Just when i've convinced myself to talk to her, my dad came in and started talking to me !!! T.T what a waste. Y can't he decide to have some father and son time at home???? :'(

Just before v left, I asked her if she was Amy. And yeah... She is Amy, my pre school sweet heart. Haha... no wonder such a beauty took my heart away at d tender age of 5 :P It's quite a pity i forgot to get her number. Even got chided by her colleague for only talking to her when v were bout to leave. Apparently she saw me b4 and still remember me but din dare start d conversation. Well most probably i have dat cold and distant look or d arrogant look :P On d way back to Kuching, the song "When will i see u again" was played on d radio and thus make me wonder when will i see her again. I dun think i need a hair cut and I've failed to convince my bro to have one. He won't even wanna perm it.

Gambate!!!! Next time I will definitely get her number and picture!!!

Democracy

Democracy - to many it's just a word meaning a system practised whereby there is election and voting. In actual fact, it is more than a word. It is a perspective. A perspective of the people on the future of their nation. In Malaysia, we have claimed that we practice a democratic system and the people have the power to choose the Government that best represents them. This is a claim most frequently used by the ruling government to claim that they have been given the mandate by the people to rule the nation as they have been in power since the country gained independence.

Most Malaysians who do not have the access to the internet might buy that story but what democracy is there in Malaysia when there is gerry-mandering involved in the elections? What's more, the Government has passed an Act which requires publication companies to renew a license every year. With this Act in place, the Government is practically in control of all the media. No news coverage is given to the opposition unless it's a negative one. Even campaigning permits are restricted. Without a leveled playing field, where is the essence of democracy?

10th November 2007 - A day that will be forever etched in my mind. A day when the Malaysian people stood up as one against all the injustice brought about. I honestly believe that the forefathers have the most sincere intentions to form the social contract to live in harmony and to go to greater heights as a nation. Sadly this social contract has been misinterpreted and the lies are spread. It was on 10th November 2007, Malaysians from all walks of life come together as one to push for an electoral reform. The four reforms demanded are:

1. The use of indelible ink to prevent repeated voting.
2. The prevention of ghost voting (actually it means ID theft by using IDs of the deceased to vote and it does not mean that the supernatural is rife in Malaysia with the deceased rising from the dead to vote).
3. The abolition of postal voting.
4. Equal access to the mainstream media by all political parties.
   

It was indeed a moment to be proud of. The space trip by a Malaysian cannot even compare to the feeling i felt from this rally. It is indeed true that the best things in life are free. To see how the divide and rule tactic used did not stop the people from going on as one to demand for their most basic rights - the right to have a fair and clean election. Personally i would say that moment was as significant as the moment our forefathers got together to demand Independence from the British Government. Such a rally did not cost the Government billions. All it took was the determination of the people in the country to achieve liberation. Despite the odds staked against them, with 4000 police personnels standing guard and using water cannons and tear gas to disperse the crowd.

The truth will prevail regardless. Here is a link to the al jazeera coverage on the rally http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtQxwS0CfGs

My day started off gloomy too but i guess a smile from a waitress and this event did brighten up my day though i think the waitress was just trying to get me to eat at the food court. 10th November 2007 - a day i salute the TRUE HEROES of Malaysia and not a SPACE TOURIST :P

Life

Life is such a funny thing. It always has some kinda surprise in store for everyone regardless of who they are. At times it's so ironic the things that life has in store for us that some people just decide to end their lives.

My life... Well can't really say it's THAT BAD... but somehow d kinda surprises it have are really just so unlikely that sometimes i wonder if I'm a character in a tragic comedy like Jim Carrey the Truman Show. It was just on Fri night dat my friend and i decided to go Hartz Chicken buffet to have dinner. All along the way, traffic was smooth. When v reached d destination, it din take us long to find a parking space. O seems too good to be true. My friend even joked that my life ain't so smooth, sth unexpected will happen like Hartz Chicken closing for d day. Told him dat was too unlikely. Most probably Hartz Chicken will just be overcrowded. True enough when v reached Hartz Chicken, it was overcrowding with people and people queued till d entrance of KFC. sigh... sometimes i think ppl just think i'm telling em a cock and bull story when i tell em some of d events dat happened in my life.

Just today, i realised dat maybe life is just like dat for everyone. As the saying goes " Sh!t Happens". In my previous post, i was poking fun at d Malaysian Astronut. Imagine his resume after his space flight "Job: Part time model cum Astronaut". He must be euphoric to be d first Malaysian to be in space. Sadly, his return trip to Earth was marred by d news that his brother knocked into a post and was comatized. Today, his brother passed away. Imagine that. At one moment, one is on top of the world. The next, one is basically at the lowest point in life knowing one's closest relative is not there to share one's joy. Life is good... at making people miserable. This time round with d utmost sincerity, "Dr. SMS, my heartfelt condolences to you and your family."

Guess that is life... It'll always have some surprise for us all... Those who manage to die with their sanity intact and with no guilty conscience have most probably succeeded in living life to d fullest...

Blast off!!!

Malaysia's Rocket a.k.a the rocket the Russians built and piloting with a Malaysian on board, being transferred to launch site.

3! 2! 1! Jerk Off!!!... Opps... I meant blast off!!!

9th October 2007 - Malaysian has once again proven that Malaysia Boleh ( 2 b read in a sarcastic tone). The astronaut (or cosmonaut as he was trained in Russia or even Angkasawan if d Malaysian Government decides to label that as Malaysia's trademark for their astronuts) Dr Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor (Dr. SMS catchy name eh??? ), is the first Malaysian in space !! Yippee. According to him, he'd try to fast if possible though the Perak Ufti did say he need not stick to it. What's more, the Malaysian Government has even released a handbook on performing Islamic prayers in space -a 12-page booklet titled "Muslim Obligations in the International Space Station." Yupe... Malaysia Boleh...Heck... I bet that when space exploration becomes common, this guidebook will be the best seller in Muslim countries.

The Malaysian space programme is part of the deal which comes along with the purchase of Sukhoi Fighters from Russia. A mere $1billion is all that is needed to send a Malaysian into space according to the Gov so y not seize this opportunity huh? So began the search for the suitable candidates years ago and finally it came down to the final two - Dr Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor and Faiz Khaleed ( a dentist - maybe he can study how cavity affect teeth in space :p ). Now, NASA has claimed that Dr. SMS is just a flight passenger to the space station and this has caused a furore among the politicians in M'sia. Come on - he'd be conducting who-knows-what experiments in space ok??? If he is just a mere passenger then this would also mean the Sukhoi jet fighters would include pilots from Russia with Malaysian pilots as passengers only...

Lets speculate what Dr. SMS might do at the space station:

Dr SMS: WOOHOO!!! I'm the first to celebrate Hari Raya in space !!! Wonder if my curry rendang taste better here :P *slurp*

Other astronauts: *shakes their head and takes out their equipment from their backpacks to start conducting experiments*

Dr. SMS: Hey guys, y are u o so serious? Try some of the chicken curry i brought with me. It's truly Malaysian... No??? What bout the beef rendang? Sure you don't want it? The pork satay taste gr8 2. opps...

Other astronauts: *decides to have a taste of Malaysian food from their comrade NOT PASSENGER MIND YOU.*

Dr. SMS: The food from Malaysia is gr8 right? Wait till u try the Malaysian women... Ngehehe... What bout teh tarik to wash down o d food? Aww... Dun be shy... Lemme show you how WE TARIK it...

B4 they can stop him, starts to tarik d teh.
Scientific fact: For the tea to be "pulled" there is a need for gravity. In space, there is NO GRAVITY and the force will cause the liquid to be dispersed all around the place.

Other astronauts: NO!!!!!!... ARGH!!! It's hot !!! Get it off my face!!! I can't SEE!!! T.T !@#@$#%$#^^%&%^#$%$%#

After all that,the results of scientific experiments that was revealed:
Experiment 1: Effects of micro-gravity on protein crystallisation
Results: The curry chicken and beef rendang taste like solid rocks. I think the protein in em must have crystallized. I prefer having em at home :(

Experiment 2: Effects of micro-gravity on cell development:
Results: Seems like micro gravity does accelerate the growth of cells... I've developed a beer tummy up here :( Even my waist has increased by 5 inches :'( Then again, it might be caused by the curry chicken and beef rendang.

Oh well, that's all folks. No more crazy pondering from me. Blasting off!!!

Fxcked up journalism

Lately i realised my posts have mostly been about myself and i've not written anything that deals with any issues for these issues have been brought up by other bloggers. What happened these 2 days changed my perception of the mainstream media in Malaysia.

There was once a time when journalism was supposed to be a respected professionalism. The workers of the media were at the frontline of the latests happenings trying to uncover the truth behind the stories they report. These were subjective or independent opinions which represented the views of the journalists. Even in Malaysia's context, journalism was once a tool used to enlighten the society. Scholars opposing the British rule wrote their opinions in the newspapers and distributed it in hope of opening the eyes of their countrymen to the truth of the society. This eventually invoked the idea of nationalism and the people of the country demanded for independence from the British rule. That was a time when journalism was used to enlighten the people. Now, the mainstream media is what i'd call BULLSHIT AND CRAP which censors opinions and its main purpose is to spread propaganda. No one with opposing views are allowed to voice their opinions. No one is allowed to know the shortcomings of the Government.

For all that crap i could still tolerate it. However, the last straw came on Tuesday. On the front page of the news was the picture of a bruised and battered, dead young girl. For days that followed, the media followed with close attention to the progress of the case. What irked me and filled me with angst and horror was how the media sensationalized the issue. Any person regardless should be allowed to pass on with dignity. It is ok for media to publish the pics of the girl when she was alive but to publish the pics of her corpse was totally uncalled for. What is worse is how the media described in details the process of her assault. From now on, I will never be able to look at cucumbers and brinjals the way i used to.By all means, condemn such a heinous crime, spread the awareness to parents of not letting your children off your sight but do not sensationalize the case by going into the details of the murder! If you think this is bad enough, it was only days ago that the Auditor General gave a press statement on the blatant wastage of funds by the public departments. It was only days ago that 2 people were shot by live bullets by a policeman who tried to disperse a congregation. However, no news is reported on the follow up actions taken against those who misused the money of the public or the police who opened fire against civilians.

The case of the child is what i'd call a problem on the surface. The root of the problem lies within the efficiency of the police. B4 her corpse was found, it was reported in the papers regarding her missing. Had there been efficiency, such a tragedy could have been prevented. Y aren't the mainstream media highlighting this issue then? Are those so called journalists so blatantly ignorant that they had the wrong focus? Or is this press coverage of the girl's murder a shift of the people's attention from those who plunder and abuse power?

To be honest, I have never really been a believer but for those who actually use the gruesome murder of an innocent young girl to mask their heinous crimes they commit, may God have mercy on their soul.