I wonder how long it's been since I last posted in here. Today I realised how much of a hypocrite I am. It was in the bus that I caught a girl staring at me. Most of the time I'd have shrugged it off but I suppose it was the way that she looked at me. It's as if she's trying to look into me. I quickly averted my gaze. Pondering this little incident made me realise how much a difference my heart and my brain acts. I've always told myself I'm independent and I'll be fine all alone. Yet, I suppose that is far from reality. I yearn to be understood yet at the same time I do not want to leave myself vulnerable. Maybe I have been trying to hard to convince myself to be someone I ain't. Maybe that's why the gaze scared me so much. I was possibly scared that she'd see past the mask that I put on and see me. By then, the reality that I've deluded myself into believing will shatter...
