A song that is spinning in my head...

One big joke...

Currently, this is my idea of the big dude up the sky. I can't exactly tell if He loves me or if He just loves playing with me.

I was craving for a Spicy Double McDeluxe since yesterday. Sadly it was raining and no friends wanted to join me so I decided not to go. Today, I can't stay the craving anymore so after work, I dropped by McD to have what I am craving for. And that is when I saw a familiar figure walk by. And this familiar figure. It is her and her new bf. Sigh... At that moment I sure feel like a character in a comedy. Merely exchanged a smile with the couple :) She looked happy. The smile I saw on her face was a smile I'd not seen in a long while. Glad she is happy...

If there is something called fate, I wonder why it always put me in all the weirdest situations at the worst possible times... :/ Sigh... Why so serious at McD? Haha...

Pooh Pooh

This is - Pooh Pooh. Yesterday I brought the Korean vendors to an electronics shop. When we got there, we saw a cute chubby little kid. He is about one year old and he kept running around the shop and messing things up. Seeing the kid, I just thought of Pooh Pooh. Like how Pinocchio was a puppet turned into a boy, I imagined that Pooh Pooh would have been similar to that toddler if he was a real toddler. Naughty and cute. So naughty that you get angry yet so cute you can't stay angry... :)

I miss Pooh Pooh. I wonder how he is doing now. Is he still loved? :(

Memories

I really wonder what the memories we shared mean to you but to me, it is my precious which I'll always treasure. If anything, these photos are fragments of memories we once shared. Looking at these pictures, do you feel the same way that I feel?

20th September 2009 - The first time you were angry with me. That night you could not go out with me as your housemates wanted you to look after the house. I was so angry with the way they treated you and worried about how you had not had your dinner I just lost my cool. Eventually one of your housemates returned and I brought you out to dinner. :) I still remember how angry you were with me that night as you were so quiet. You told me not to worry as everything will be alright the next day. Sadly, things are not going to be alright this time round...

2nd September 2009 - The first time I took you to the clinics after telling your mum you were sick. I know you never liked me telling your mum stuff but I just cant help it at times as I know that she is constantly worrying about you and there are things she needs to know. I suppose it is a good thing I never found the Chinese physician :P I bet you would not like the herbal medicine. I still remember that night as vividly as yesterday. I had to drop you off at the clinic while I went to give tuition. That night, you waited for me at home. I felt a sense of relief that you finally saw the doc and ate your medicine. I still find it funny to see how shy you were that you did not dare have dinner :)

I think I wanted to give you a peck on your cheek while taking this picture so it ended up so blurry. That day we ended up taking pics using your webcam. You uploaded it and named the album "Mr Coffee and Miss Waffles" I wonder if you still have those pictures with you...

17th October 2009 - The first time I decided to cook for you. The only dish which I know how to prepare is spaghetti so I settled on that dish. Even got the tomato sauce from your place. You were my assistant while I cooked. That night we cooked so much that both of us couldn't finish it before going over to my friend's birthday party. That night was also the first night I saw you getting drunk after drinking screwdrivers which you thought was orange juice :P

One morning you complained we never took enough pics as a couple. We took a few shots and this was the best among them all. We looked so happy. I think we were really happy when we took this picture.

A pic taken by Justin after FYP in uni. Haha... I slept so soundly by your side. You were my safe haven that sheltered me from all my worries. You told me that I was really selfish when I asked you if you would come with me if I were to go elsewhere. To be honest, I asked that simply because I know that home is where the heart is and my heart is with you...
The pic taken when I went over to your place to take a nap after my group study for my finals. I can only find rest when I am with you. That afternoon, you teamed up with Ken to make Xiao Bai kiss me :( Now you have your own little doggy called Kobe...

During my hols, we were always together. If my memory serves me right, you had a "Malaysian Studies" test the next day and you were tired from o the studying. Wanted to go dinner after watching the HK drama but you were still lounging on your bro's bed. However, you looked so cute I couldn't resist but to give you a peck on the cheek. :)

A pic taken the day after Christmas. I never posted it as I thought we both looked ugly in this pic. Ok, maybe it is just me looks so.

That was the last picture I have of us. I suppose that is where the story ends. 2010 came and there are a lot of major changes in our lives. I found a job and I could no longer be with you as much as I did back then. Your mum fell sick and then she passed away. With my job at hand, I couldn't spend as much time as I could to console you and help you get through the sadness. Our distance started growing and my temper became worse because of the insecurity I felt. With that, the vicious cycle started and we grew apart until that day you told me that I no longer had your heart...

Life seldom gives people second chances and we cannot turn back time. Life has no "if" and I can only learn from the mistakes of my actions and pick up the pieces regardless of how much I wish to undo my actions... I suppose all that matters now is that you are happy...

Angels cry...

It sure is hard to believe that a week has passed by so fast. Since the day you broke up with me, I just realize that there hasn't been a day that has not rained. As implied by this song, I wonder if the angels are crying...

You said that you wish there is no such a thing as "wasted". I can tell you this - your love for me wasn't wasted. I may have changed too late but it did change me. Made me realize how much of a horrible person I am and I should really change my attitude or I'll lose more of those around me. I also do not think I "wasted" my love on you - simply because I Love You...

You once asked me "Do you believe in fairy tales?" I told you "I'll never be your knight in shining armour." but I didn't tell you "I'll be your guardian angel and give my all for you..." I remember a story. Once there was a scholar. He had looks, a bright future and beautiful wife. One day, an angel descended from heaven and asked him "Are you happy?" He said "My life is the envy of many people but sadly I do not know what happiness is." That instant, the angel took away his looks, his wife and everything else which he had. Looking hideous and unable to find a job, he could only roam the streets as a beggar. After what seemed like an eternity, the angel appeared before him again and asked him the same question "Are you happy?" He replied "I now know what happiness is. It was all that I had. If I had not been such a fool." Knowing the scholar had learnt his lesson, the angel returned all that he had to him. He found himself back at the time when he first met the angel - only this time, he knew how to be content with what he has.

A short story which I once read but somehow it seems to reflect my current situation. A stable job, a good girlfriend and no worries. It is a pity I couldn't appreciate it all until now when it is all too late... At least in the story, the scholar had a happy ending. Will I have mine?

50 universal truths about men :D

Just broke up recently :'( Anyway, the following are really true about men... What makes it so hard for us to be understood?

1. Why should I remind you that “I love you?” I already told you once.

2. I’ll do anything for sex; even commit to you for life.

3. I hate arguing with you. I’d much rather find a compromise.

4. I love long hair. Sorry, but I do.

5. When you speak softly, I can’t help but listen.

6. I need to be told “no” sometimes. Not a lot, but every now and again reminds me that you are expensive.

7. Please don’t ask me how you look unless you’re willing to trust my answer.

8. My eyes notice other women a lot more when you are upset with me.

9. When you’re happy with me I can’t help but want to please you.

10. If I don’t feel I can make you happy, it makes me feel less than a man.

11. I expect you to be ready when I pick you up.

12. Cigarettes make any woman look cheap and easy.

13. I'm scared if I let a woman inside my heart, she'll take advantage of me.

14. If you can’t stand up to me when I’m a brat, you’re too weak for me to open up to when I’m upset.

15. Sitting quietly next to me after you’ve made me a meal is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free ticket. You’ll be surprised how quickly I can forgive.

16. You did something hurtful. If I never bring it up, I’m considering leaving you.

17. I don’t read minds. Remember, I’m not a girl.

18. You may know fashion, but I wish you’d dress to please me, not other women.

19. If I’m losing my hair, it’s not funny. Would you like me to joke about your weight?

20. When I talk to you about golf and you act bored, it would be nice for you to remember all the times I listened to you talk about what is important to you.

26. I need some type of signal or cue to walk across the room and approach you. What if you’re married!?

27. It makes me feel like you trust me when you ask for my advice.

28. It feels competitive when you insist on being in charge.

29. Being respected is more important to me that being loved.

30. I want every guy to envy me when we arrive as a couple. Please don’t let yourself go.

31. When I’m upset I am very tone sensitive. How you say it is more important that what you say..

32. I hate it when you minimize/ignore my compliments. It makes me what to stop giving them.

33. I’m more insecure than you think. Why do you think I need your respect so much?

34. I don’t always know how I feel. That’s why I don’t tell you.

35. I don’t need you to do things for me. What I crave is being able to please you.

36. If I do one thing and say something contradictory – Go with my actions, that will always tell you what’s in my heart.

37. I find myself wanting to please you when you simply smile at me without asking for something. (Like a favor).

38. I really don’t want to hear about any of your ex-boyfriends, regardless of the point.

39. If I don’t share what I’m thinking it’s because I don’t think you will listen without interrupting.

40. I don’t like to argue and I don’t like to guess what’s wrong. Just tell me so I can fix it.

41. I love it when you put your hair in a pony tail. Yes, it’s a Freudian thing.

42. Don’t ask me, “Are you going to wear that?” when I’m already dressed.

43. A gentleman should always be respected by his lady in public, even if she is disagreeing with him.

44. If you don’t believe you’re pretty, you won’t believe me when I tell you, no matter how many times I say it.

45. It isn’t how much your weigh; what's attractive is whether body is proportionate.

46. Sometimes I have weird and strange thoughts. I don’t take them seriously and I don’t want to share them with you (or anyone).

47. Sometimes you really don’t want to know what I’m thinking. See above.

48. If you cheat on me, it is nearly impossible for me to get over it.

49. I don’t remember everything about our relationship and that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.

50. I need some time to myself to calm down when I’m upset so that I don’t say something I will regret.

Aishiteru...

You probably won't know the existence of my blog but I really wanna tell you - Aishiteru!!!

Better man

I know I have done you wrong. I have been really selfish. I never knew how my actions have hurt you so much. I promise you. I will be a better man.