Finally...

Finally found the answer I have been searching for... It is not an easy pill to swallow but I am sure it is the end of my torment... :)

Dreams...

Two months... That is how long it has been... People always say memories will fade with time and maybe two months is too short a period but the recurring memories just keep coming back to haunt me... The once beautiful memories of yesterday are now the haunting nightmares of today...

It's such a torture... Awake and my mind keeps wandering off to where you are... When I sleep, you appear in my dreams... I guess what's an impossibility in reality is what is reflected in my dreams...

On the night before yesterday, I just vaguely remember i dream of you... I dunno y I can't recall what the dream was about no matter how hard I try. The only thing I recalled waking up in the morning was the pain in my heart... These days it is no longer a figure of speech but rather a physical pain that I can feel...

Today, you appeared again in my nap. It's funny as your hair was short... Somehow you were teasing me in my dream... Just like how it was in the memories I recall... It was all very lucid and real... The heavy feeling of sadness sunk my heart when I woke up all alone and realized that you're gone... :(

I had always been a loner before I met you. Alone but never felt lonely... These days as I slowly pick up the pieces of my life again, somehow some things just don't feel right anymore... Just need to get these off my chest... People say move on and I wonder if I am moving on by living my life... Maybe I am living just to find a purpose at the moment...

A song to share...

Take a pick

Below is an article I came across and I will just do an English translation for the main points.

好男人为何泡妞泡不过坏男人？
Why do good guys always lose out the bad boys when it comes to girls?

男人不坏，女人不爱。这句话在现实中非常准确。虽然很多女人会矢口否认这一点甚至对此嗤之以鼻。但实际上，“坏”男人的求爱方式的确比好男人的方式有效得多。

坏男人的特点是：脸皮厚，大胆，善于撒谎，不太受道德约束，花招诡计多，一旦有机会“日”后再说，不负责任。而这些特点恰恰击中了女人的软肋。
Characteristics of a bad boy: Shameless, brave, good at lying, not bounded by moral values, highly flirtatious, anything can come after having a taste of d cheery :P

假设硬件条件相似的好男人和坏男人遇到同一个女人，坏男人的杀伤力要强出n倍。

首先

好男人的出手概率要小得多，因为好男人开始追求之前就要考虑负责任的问题，所以不完全中意的不会去追，条件不成熟的目前不能追，对方已有男友的不能追，未来前景不看好（例：在不同城市）的不能追，限制极多。
Good guys have limited targets. Before they even think about tackling a girl, a lot of things come to mind. Does d girl meet his requirements, is she mature, does she have a boyfriend, what are the future prospects...


而坏男人反正也没打算负责任，只要对方有点姿色，或是触手可得，一概先追了再说。
Bad boys don't care too much. All that matters? Whether or not the girl is hot. The rest can wait...

第二

好男人诚实，没钱没关系就实话实说，对女方的缺点也坦诚相告，往往让女人很失望。而坏男人随便编两个故事就可以显得自己实力超群；对女人花言巧语又很容易让她们心花怒放，认为找到了知己伯乐。
Good guys are just too bloody honest. If they have no money, they'll just say so and if the girls ask for opinions, they are pretty straightforward with it. Obviously, this will be quite upsetting for most girls. As for the bad boys, it does not take so much of an effort to make up an impressing story. Nevermind if it is real. As long as the words capture the girl's heart, anything goes.

在这个浮躁的社会背景下，好男人多年的辛苦努力换来的成果多半还不如一个坏男人用3分钟时间编出来的故事更能让女人心动。
In this ever changing society that we are living in, the efforts put in by the good guys can never match the breath taking stories made up in 3 minutes by the bad boys.

第三

好男人总想着尊重对方，不会找机会调戏非礼。而坏男人通过调笑、酒精、跳舞等方式随时刺激女人的荷尔蒙，一有机会就把对方占为己有。女人的快感一旦被调动起来，反而很快会爱上这个男人。
Good guys tend to respect. Bad guys will know how to get to a girl's heart through alcohol, dance and he will definitely get into her pants in the first given opportunity. :) Once the girls are aroused, loving such a guy won't be such a hard thing to do.

坏男人一次嘿咻的效果往往超过好男人默默的多次付出。有些傻女人认为男人上了她就是爱上了她；更傻的女人认为一旦被男人上了，她就必须爱上这个男人。女人的本性中隐含着逆来顺受的基因。
One love making session with a bad boy is so much more than the efforts put in by the good guys time and again. Stupid girls think that guys who had sex with them will love them and more stupid ones think that they have to love the guys who had sex with them.

第四

好男人真心付出，把双方的感情看得很重，心态容易不平衡，为一些小事和女友争吵。而坏男人心想：反正我不过是做一场游戏，找点刺激罢了，哄哄她得了，生个什么气啊？心态更平和，反而显得成熟个性好。
Good guys tend to take things too seriously and tend to argue over small matters. For bad boys? It's just a game, what's the big deal about apologizing? As such, they are seen as the more compromising and understanding individuals.

第五

坏男人的约会经验通常比好男人多得多。参照第一条，坏男人一有机会就出手，即使不成功也积累了经验，逐渐了解了女人的心理。
Bad boys will definitely have more experiences in dating than the good guys. As long as he tries to tackle, it is already an experience. With experience, the bad boys will have a better understanding of girls.


女人大多不理智，有种种莫名其妙完全不合逻辑的偏见（比如：一个鞋上有污点的男人一定靠不住）。坏男人通过大量的实战经验在约会时把这些表面工作做得很好，而好男人却懵然不知，被唰了都不明白为什么，还以为是自己实力不够。
Bad boys know how to package themselves to look ideal. Good guys do not even know that it is the small mistakes they have made that cost them the relationship.


第六

双方发生争执时，好男人自尊心、原则性强，不会轻易迁就对方，往往为些小事谁都不让步，最后只能分手。
When there is an argument, the good guys don't usually compromise on their principles. And most of the time, this is the cause of a break up.

而坏男人脸皮厚，认个错比喝稀饭都容易，往往轻而易举就能哄得对方回心转意；当然，那是在他还没有玩腻的时候，否则即使女方让步他也能找出借口分手，有时候女人反而会一再让步，彻底沦为坏男人的玩物。
As for the bad boys, they do not mind apologizing since lying is so much easier. As such, it is easier to win back the girl's heart. If he gets tired of his play things, anything can be an excuse for a break up.

第七

好男人原则性强，循规蹈矩，往往显得乏味。而坏男人一心追求刺激，变化多端，常常给女人以新鲜感。不知不觉中，女人就被坏男人迷惑住，控制住了。
Good guys tend to have principles and be very routine. As a result, they are seen as boring and totally unattractive. Bad boys? Well since it is all a game, variations are needed and the main aim is to keep it exciting. What more should i say?

第八

如果女人认识到双方不合适，提出主动分手。好男人只会采取光明正大的手段，实际效果有限；而坏男人可以不择手段，死缠滥打，威逼利诱。女人的惰性强，情感多变，又容易向强势低头，常常摆脱不了坏男人的下三滥手段.
When the girls find that both are no longer suitable for each other, they will ask for a break up. the good guys tend to take the moral high road and the effectiveness of this choice is limited. As for the bad boys, anything goes - constant harassment, temptation and some may even resort to threats. Girls are highly emotional and sometimes, it is just these tactics that work.

So what is your choice? :)

First Day of the Final Year

Alas, today is the first day of my final year in uni. I was looking forward to a day when o went smooth but things will never happen the way we want them to be :(

So I am lucky enough to have a class that only starts at 2.30p.m. Slept till 11.49am and woke up to a not so good morning. Not long after, did a routine mail check and what not but my friends were ady on their way to pick me up. I thought that putting on contact lenses would be a breeze on the third day but who knew it took so much longer than I had expected? In the end I was left with no choice but to only put on one. Actually that was kinda a stupid choice. I was so dizzy with a clear vision on one side and extremely poor one on the other. Did not even bring anything... Slipped on my slippers and I was outta d house...

In uni... Sigh.. Why bother to call the subjects elective subjects when we do not have any other available options? It is so FUCKING ridiculous. :( I do not even wanna go into the details of this stupid ordeal...

First day... Well, hope things will pick up...